Usually.
But this truth I could do without.
I am no longer cute enough (if I ever was) to leave the house without placing significant effort upon my appearance.
Of course I do leave the house on occasion, in shame, sans putting on my cuteness in its entirety. Because I'm a very busy and important person. I have places to be which don't wait for such effort to be applied. That's why I do it in the car. Kidding. No, I've given up mascara in the car. Now, it's just lipgloss. But changing that behavior was more about me being a safe driving example to my children, rather than actually seeking safety for myself. For we know the truism that it is better to look mahvelous than to feel mahvelous, Dahling.
Now, though...on those naked days, I'll catch a glimpse of my face in the rearview (or worse, a garishly lit store) mirror and turn away in horror at what I see. I wonder, "Who IS that woman who reminds me of an old aunt I never had. Boy...she might've had potential." I suppose it's been a gradual change. But lately, I'm noticing it more and more. Truth: I am just not cute without my mascara (foundation, blush, eyeshadow, eyebrow color). Nor am I cute in that wash and wear hair way. And for all of you who are, I say bless you, because somewhere along the lines, with SOMEthing, your time is coming--so I will refuse to be bitter. I have wavy hair, folks. Not curly. Not straight. And not evenly wavy, either. And, it's turning a dark, dank ashy blonde. When I have my good hair on, she can be veddy, veddy cute, but when she is bad, I look horrid. But cuteness requires blowing dry, use of product, straightening, styling my new bangs over my sun damaged forehead, and using more product. It's exhausting.
To quote Miss Truvy: "It takes some effort to look like this."
Evidently, I'd rather blog about it than actually do something.
Look, I lurve make up and hair products and nail polishes as much as the next girl. In fact, I used to BE a make up lady at Merle Norman, where I'd get you "off your feet and on your seat". Make up is my friend. Make up has a very important spot in my life. As a friend. But now...I see its ways. It wants to call me lover, not friend.
And I'm just not ready for that.
Better go do my hair...
22 comments:
Oh, my word!! I feel you, sister, I feel you. You are singing my sad, sad song. I look at old pictures and think, "Where did she go?"
Once upon a time (and excuse me if I get a little misty here), people used to think I was much younger than I actually was. And here's the REALLY sad part: I hated it. I hated having to show ID to see a rated R movie. Sad, stupid girl of the past! How did I catch up and then surpass looking my actual age?
Sigh. It requires much more effort than it used to, friend. And I'm not even aiming for "cute" anymore. I'd settle for "doesn't scare the children or embarrass the husband." Ain't it a kick in the pants that it requires more effort and energy at the same time that mustering up energy takes a lot more than it used to as well? SIGH!
You have certainly been "drinking my kool aid!!!"
I have the same not wavy, not curly hair that has started looking like yucky dishwater if I don't get up and do something about it every morning.
A crow has been leaving his mark right under my eyes lately too. Nope, don't leave the house without concealer on these days.
I'm not even going to talk about the "grey" word...
And then I guess I'm still sad from yesterday, cause my baby sister turned a year older, which is just a reminder of how old I'm really getting...she did tell everyone I was seven years older didn't she?!
Well, if I'm going to have a pity party, it is nice to know I have some company!
Listen to my sister. Whine. Whine. My goodness.
So I put my mascara on in the car this morning, and it wasn't pretty. Because a dog (yes, a DOG!) ran in front of my car causing me to jerk mascara all across my nose! I don't believe in karma....but if I did.
For the record... I think you are lurvaly.
Snoodle: I remember those ID showing days, too. And the days when I was 24 and the principal at the school in which I was doing my speech therapy internship said, "I'm sorry, you need to go back to the cafeteria with the other kids to eat your food. No food in the halls."
Mich: Not so much a pity party as a sad reality check. :) But I figure we've earned every wrinkle and grey.
Amber: Oh, we'll see what song you're singing when you're 40, my friend. We'll.just.see. But I know...whining deepens my frown lines. :)
Yeah...I think most of us feel like that eventually. I remember what I used to consider "bad" pictures of me...somehow now they look amazing...so, so, sad...
My hair is straight except for the huge wave in the back on one side. UGH. One does what she can...thankfully with God it is a reversal of how the world looks at beauty...we become even more beautiful as time passes and we gain more of an understanding of who He is and who we are in Him...On the "ugly" mornings (too rushed or simply can't muster enough energy to care) I take comfort in that!
And is your nose getting bigger? Mine is huge all of a sudden. And I have deep lines, which I tell myself because I've smiled so much, but I'm thinking a more neutral Botox-y expression may be the way to go.
Just.
Not.
Fair.
Shanda: I remember having the conversation with a girlfriend about the inverse relationship between wisdom and cuteness.
CPQ: No, my nose is fine. But my little, squinty eyes are getting smaller and smaller under the hooded folds of my skin.
See, that's why I let everyone know right off the bat that I'm STUCK in frump but STRIVING for fab...because then if I have a really good hair/makeup day...people are like, "Wow...you look FAB" and then I feel terrific. But if people see me at Lowes at 10 AM buying paint for a reno project and my hair is pulled back in a clip with no eyemakeup and in my paint splattered work clothes, they're just like, "Meh, she must be working on the house again..."
Yes, frump is my default mode, but I do strive for fab. Lipstick and butterfly clips (in my purse) are my arsenal, because those clips make even a quickie hairstyle look purposeful, lol.
As backup, my grandma always taught us that being sweet to others helped folks see your inner beauty. (I'm banking on that being what folks are seeing in Lowes, anyway.)
Hey...I was a JCPenney Cosmetic girl once upon a time.
Did my dear sister actually say "I" was whining?!!! Well, maybe I was just a little, but I don't think she really wants to go there with me...I know too much. :)
Thanks Gretchen for standing up for me. She will feel my pain when 40 is looming and her child is almost 13! Of course, I guess she will always have the last laugh on age, for then I'll be headed towards...don't even want to think about it!
Uh-huh. I've so lost the carefree cute look.
I get lazy though and just say "screw it". And then I look in a mirror and am flooded with regret. Which leads me to care (a lot) for a while. And then I get lazy. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Ugh.
I'm a little late in getting to my commenting today...
I go through phases where I don't care and where I say "okay, Tiff, WASH your GREASY hair before going to the grocery store, honey!"
But, really, when the mood hits and I have a certain time frame to get to the store or errands or whatever gettin' cute cutes into that time in a major way..I could go and almost be back before I could be showered, make-up'd and out the door!
I try to remember that "purty is as purty does" my great-grandmother used to say..and therefore I just go actin' all sweet WITH greasy hair and I feel better!!
So, this comment was all about me and not one bit about "gosh, Gretch, sorry you feel that way...you are beautiful" Of course, I feel all those things and I'm very sorry I "me'd" all over your blog...lurve ya!
Every day I look in the mirror and cannot believe what I see looking back at me - because I don't feel like that person. I feel cute and sassy, and then get a huge wake up call when I actually see myself. :) I am also shocked when I see the difference between the cuter, made-up me and the completely natural me - like looking at two different people. Oh, it is A LOT of work getting to the point of looking presentable.
And I also have this frown line, like a big crack in the desert sand, right between my eyes. Hate it. I am not a believer in Botox, but if I was, I would be first in line.
I have never seen you look anything but gawgeous in the pics you post on the blog. Truly.
I feel you girl! I had my third child and my limp lifeless hair took on a wave...he's five now...and we're still waving. Not curly...well, right around my hairline is MOST ASSUREDLY CURLY, but the rest, not so much. Requires serious work not to look just plain fuzzy.
And can we talk about zits? Hello!! I'm pushing 40, not 14. What is THAT about!
Woo Hoo, I am really feeling this post sis.
Boy, I know exactly how you feel when you pass that mirror! I think the last time I bothered to put makeup on was for Mandy's wedding, two years ago. I remember when I'd never dream of leaving the house without looking as good as I could from head to toe. No more. I'm done with all that. My family sincerely doesn't care so I'm thinking I look fine without all the cosmetic help and I'll bet you do too.
*renting her clothes* oh I feel the pain, my sistah. The cute has left the building.
well written. laughing and crying all at the same time. mourning the loss of the cute.
(word verification- unglop sadly appropriate)
If it wouldn't make me crawl under a rock to live out the rest of my days, I would totally post a pic for you all of me, young 30's, no make-up, no fixing of the hair, etc. just to make you all feel like movie stars.
Because I, too, have the not curly, not wavy, not straight hair that MUST be "done" to look right, it has become a dull shade of it's former glorious auburn self, I inherited squinty eyes which is already creating crows feet and which DON'T look good w/o ALL makeup (never did), I'm just looking old, and...I have freckles. Lots of freckles. Sigh. I don't even get the OCCASIONAL picture where I think I look half way decent anymore.
do you feel sorry for me yet?
Are you feeling better about yourself?
If you are, my work is done here...
I am so glad that you posted this because i have been keenly aware lately that I am no longer at the age where I can slap on some moisturizer, mascara and gloss and head out the door. Just this week I have started using primer AND foundation.
But it turns out I also need a bit of concealer too.
And that is just the skin on my face...
Anywho, I am glad i am not alone!
I am right there with you. So much so I don't even know what to say. When I'm done up, I think, "Damn, girl, you look great." But when I'm not (which is most days) I look like a dehydrated Irish washerwoman with left over acne and thinning hair. Crap.
Oh sweet girl...I think we all hear you! It is taking a lot more effort these days to just look *passable* and sometimes that doesn't even get done! I guess as long as dogs don't howl in terror I have achieved success. Right?
Love and hugs,
Sue
Absolute, completely identifying with this - all of it. And still sometimes I just go buy the bread and milk and think 'is what is'. I have a friend who says she looks so much better, after she 'puts on her face'. I'd add good quality lingerie with underwires to that list of yours, at least for me!
Obviously this is a topic that resonates with us all. I am in the frizzy hair, wrinkles and still have zits camp. Bleh. I totally ahve those days too where I am just to important to take the time...but oh the regret when said mirror comes into view.
*sigh...at least you can make us all laugh about it together!
Post a Comment