No excuses.

It's funny how God works. 

Not funny ha-ha.  But funny strange.

Our church is mid-way through in a series in preparation for Easter called "40 Days to Live". 

It's inspiring.  Really, the rally cry of this series seems to be:

• No excuses.
• It is arrogant to assume that we have tomorrow (on this planet).
• If we know God and have accepted His gift of salvation, we know you are here to love Him, and love each other.
• Why aren't we already living like we have 40 days left to live?

Last Friday morning, a little piece of heaven returned home to be with Jesus after living well her "40 Days".  Her name was Annie, or Annalee Grace Sullivan, if you want formal introductions.  She was nearly 8 years old, and had been battling issues resulting from a catastrophic brain injury from over 4 years ago.  She was unable to eat w/o a feeding tube, and essentially as "helpless" as a toddler, with probably a toddler's cognition.  But I know she knew Jesus.

I used to read to Annie as my children took their guitar lessons from her ubertalented big brother, Jack.  As I held her on the floor and read Brown Bear, Brown Bear for the eleventy-hundredth time and/or played princesses with her, she would sometimes become agitated.  Or sometimes,she didn't like being switched from being held between Jean and me, or didn't like seeing her mom leave the room, or what-have-you.  So, I did what came natural to me upon hearing her "No, No, NO, NO, NOOOO!", and started singing to her quietly.  I sang "Jesus Loves Me...", and she.would.calm.  No other song grasped her attention (at least from me) as "Jesus Loves Me" did.  She would fix her eyes on me and smile. 

A little over a week ago, I got to sit with her and read books and sing songs again.  This time, it was at Children's hospital.  She was recovering from the flu, which had essentially shut down her gut.  Doctors were struggling to get nutrition into this baby, and the stomach and intestines were rebelling, so they switched to TPN in order to get some calories into her system.  This child had wires and tubes in her, and yet, once she got some nutrittion going, she wanted to walk, so Jean and I took her for a spin in her kid-walker.  She probably walked 1/4 mile in the hospital halls that day.  And she did NOT want to go back into that bed when we got to her room.  Why would she? She was living her "40 days" to the max. 

Annie likely felt nauseated for the last four years of her life.  In fact, she threw up and/or had seizures much of the time.  Yet, she played, she listened to books (and threw them over her shoulder at the last page), she loved the Charlie Brown Christmas music sound track, she went to school.  She loved her family. And she loved her Jesus and knew He loved her.  I know she did.

She was able to do all this because of an incredibly godly family, who also lives like they were dying (thank you, Tim McGraw).  God loved Annie completely and fervently through Jean, Bill, Taylor, Peter and Cris, Andy and Naomi, Dave, Jack, and Olivia.  May they all be blessed with His comfort and peace. 

And may I live by example.  No excuses.

Jesus loves me this I know,
For the Bible tells me so.
Little ones to Him belong.
They are weak, but He is strong.
Yes, Jesus loves me.
Yes, Jesus loves me.
Yes, Jesus loves me.
The Bible tells me so.

-Warner (1860)

Soli Deo Gloria!

Of Birthday Blessings and 1/2 Finished Workouts

Okay...giving myself 15 minutes to write this, as I need to get into the shower and get ready for my cute lunch date.  BUT...God gave me such a beautiful gift that I needed to share.

I went to the gym on my b'day.  Normally, I wouldn't engage in such tom-foolery, but I figured that I needed to do some damage control after my b'day maple-covered sinnamon roll goodness of this morning.  So away I went. 

Midway through finishing my planks for rock solid abs and cut-like-steel arms, a woman joined me on the mat, doing her own planks.  I grunted that these were probably invented by a man (sorry guys), and we shared a quick chuckle.  Then, she noticed that I used my phone's stopwatch for each plank--for precision timing purposes because I don't want to hold any position which causes huffing and puffing any longer than I must.  Soon, she was doing planks to her stopwatch.

Then, she relaxed for a moment , and said sort of out of the blue, "My husband had a stroke this weekend...and I need to be here because I'm really scared."   Well, not only did I specialize in stroke rehab as a speech therapist, but I'm HUMAN, and this woman needed another human for a moment, I guess. 

After telling her how sorry I was and acertaining what his condition was with her, I just said, "What's his name?  I want to pray for him."  She told me...

"Jesus, please be with A right now.  Please touch and heal his body according to Your will.  Give him Your strength, and peace.  Amen. "

My new friend started crying and said her husband wasn't a believer, but that she was.  We introduced ourselves.  She lives in a town about 30 miles away, and never comes to the gym at this particular time, but needed to work out, so that she could support her husband, so she came early.  I told her that my gym attendance is spotty ahem on Mondays. 

We talked for a few moments more as we were doing some ab work, and I gave her all the encouragement I could, with as much discernment as I had. I wrote her and her hubs names down and told her I'd pray, and when I saw her again, I'd ask after him. 

She told me I made her day. 

If she only knew how she made mine.  But I know from Whom all blessings flow.  Thank You,  Jesus. 

Meh...

It's just one of those weeks, my friends.  A week where all of the double-fisting of brownie dough and garlic Triscuits with avocado slices is just not going to cut the restlessness in me.  Not that I haven't tried. I can hardly string to cohesive thoughts together, and I'm equal parts worn out and amped up. I'd call it a funk, but I'm extensively familiar with funkage, and this isn't it.  Though if I don't watch out, that's where I'm headed.  So...I'm watching out.  And I'm self-caring...because if momma ain't happy...And really, part of the issue is that I want to be there for others.  I need to be there for others.  Right now, however, I just don't want to be.  I'm just sorta...meh.

In case you ever feel the same way...you're not alone.  And if you never feel this way...then we can still be friends and I'll try not to covet your mental contentment and stability.  But this is what helps me--and I share in hopes that even one person would find a bit of relief.

As Paul states, he's learned the secret of being content in all circumstances.  Good for Paul.  Oh, okay. That was snarky.  I didn't mean it, Lord.  No, he's exactly right. 

Christ is the reason for our joy, our hope, and our strength.  And we praise him whether we "want" to or not because of Who He is.  We go to Him for our healing, our hope, and our strength.  We come to the throne regardless of our emotional/extrinsic state, to seek His Truthful, intrinsic indwelling of the Holy Spirit.

Step 1.  I'm reading thru my Bible again.  And alongside it, I'm reading J.I. Packer's Knowing God.  But I'm not reading just to learn...I'm reading to drink, to glean, to fill my mouth with His Word.  To fill my heart with His comfort.  To talk with Him. To agree with Him in my need to confess, repent, and move forward.  To PRAISE Him.

Step 2.  Though I'm tempted to eat everything which is nailed down (and am partially succeeding), I'm also exercising, at least 2 times a week "hard" (e.g. gym time with grunting and sweat) and 3 times a week "easy" (e.g. dog walking etc.).  I never thought I would say this, but I'm really starting to wake up and know when my body needs to go to the gym.  Curses. 

Step 3.  I'm doing sweet things for myself.  Today I had a looooong overdue massage.  I still feel a little guilty about spending the money, but it's an investment in my well being in so many ways...knots get worked out, I sleep better, I feel less like a lump and more like an animate object (that is...AFTER the lavender-scented stupor wears off).  And I'm nicer.  That's a particular win for my fellow home-dwellers.  I'm meeting a friend for a margarita this week.  And I've kept my nails painted all week.  Sometimes, it's just a little thing to make me smile, or something to put on the calendar in anticipation of a bit o' fun.

Step 4.  I'm doing sweet things for others.  Now, now...don't go all thinking I'm bragging on myself.  This is just part of the process. Guess what?  My daughter is forbidden to have sleep-overs on a school night.  Except for yesterday.  Really...what could it hurt?  And the smile on her face (not to mention the scream I heard on the phone when she thought we had disconnected) was worth every broken rule.  Been trying to stockpile some freezer dinners to have on hand for friends.  Been praying for others.  Been asking God for wisdom in how i can let my gentleness (well, His gentleness, anyway) be evident to all. 

And here's another sweet thing.  I have a little reading blog and I am itching to give some books away.  I bought 3 new books recently, and I think the biggest compliment you can give a book is to pass it on.  I've already passed one on.  Go here if you're interested in the giveaway for the other 2.


Blessings!