No excuses.

It's funny how God works. 

Not funny ha-ha.  But funny strange.

Our church is mid-way through in a series in preparation for Easter called "40 Days to Live". 

It's inspiring.  Really, the rally cry of this series seems to be:

• No excuses.
• It is arrogant to assume that we have tomorrow (on this planet).
• If we know God and have accepted His gift of salvation, we know you are here to love Him, and love each other.
• Why aren't we already living like we have 40 days left to live?

Last Friday morning, a little piece of heaven returned home to be with Jesus after living well her "40 Days".  Her name was Annie, or Annalee Grace Sullivan, if you want formal introductions.  She was nearly 8 years old, and had been battling issues resulting from a catastrophic brain injury from over 4 years ago.  She was unable to eat w/o a feeding tube, and essentially as "helpless" as a toddler, with probably a toddler's cognition.  But I know she knew Jesus.

I used to read to Annie as my children took their guitar lessons from her ubertalented big brother, Jack.  As I held her on the floor and read Brown Bear, Brown Bear for the eleventy-hundredth time and/or played princesses with her, she would sometimes become agitated.  Or sometimes,she didn't like being switched from being held between Jean and me, or didn't like seeing her mom leave the room, or what-have-you.  So, I did what came natural to me upon hearing her "No, No, NO, NO, NOOOO!", and started singing to her quietly.  I sang "Jesus Loves Me...", and she.would.calm.  No other song grasped her attention (at least from me) as "Jesus Loves Me" did.  She would fix her eyes on me and smile. 

A little over a week ago, I got to sit with her and read books and sing songs again.  This time, it was at Children's hospital.  She was recovering from the flu, which had essentially shut down her gut.  Doctors were struggling to get nutrition into this baby, and the stomach and intestines were rebelling, so they switched to TPN in order to get some calories into her system.  This child had wires and tubes in her, and yet, once she got some nutrittion going, she wanted to walk, so Jean and I took her for a spin in her kid-walker.  She probably walked 1/4 mile in the hospital halls that day.  And she did NOT want to go back into that bed when we got to her room.  Why would she? She was living her "40 days" to the max. 

Annie likely felt nauseated for the last four years of her life.  In fact, she threw up and/or had seizures much of the time.  Yet, she played, she listened to books (and threw them over her shoulder at the last page), she loved the Charlie Brown Christmas music sound track, she went to school.  She loved her family. And she loved her Jesus and knew He loved her.  I know she did.

She was able to do all this because of an incredibly godly family, who also lives like they were dying (thank you, Tim McGraw).  God loved Annie completely and fervently through Jean, Bill, Taylor, Peter and Cris, Andy and Naomi, Dave, Jack, and Olivia.  May they all be blessed with His comfort and peace. 

And may I live by example.  No excuses.

Jesus loves me this I know,
For the Bible tells me so.
Little ones to Him belong.
They are weak, but He is strong.
Yes, Jesus loves me.
Yes, Jesus loves me.
Yes, Jesus loves me.
The Bible tells me so.

-Warner (1860)

Soli Deo Gloria!

Not Fair

People who don't know Jesus might look at the above picture and wonder why I believe in God.  When I look at this picture, which wrecks me from the inside-out, I realize, more than ever, that I must believe. 

For those who haven't been introduced, this is Annie.  She's going to be 8 in April.  Four years ago, she suffered a hypoxic ischemic brain injury secondary to an Addisonian crisis.  Here story is here.  Due to the brain injury, subsequent chronic seizures, and Addison's, keeping her healthy--with endocrine system (which effects everything) in balance--has been tantamount to summiting Mt. Everest eleventy-million times. In four years, I'd venture to say, she's thrown up more days than not. 

Not fair. 

How could this happen to a little 3 1/2 year old princess who loved to wear pink, dance around, and talk about "Cinderellala"?

The truth is...I have no idea.  And further.  I.hate.it.  The fact that this gorgeous baby, who has parents and siblings who love God and her more than anyone else I know, sits in a hospital bed, groggy and sick absolutely wrecks me.  And if I hadn't any faith in God, it would put me over the edge.  I'd hate Him, for sure.  And truly, I can see how those without faith would turn away in disgust, wondering how such an injustice could occur. 

God is unfair.  Thank You, Jesus. 

This same God who allows this suffering did not choose to create a sin-filled world.  He weeps at it.  And, in an instant, He who created it, could have wiped it and us out.  Instead, He mercifully gave His own Son to reclaim it. I am a parent. I cannot imagine allowing either of my children who are imperfect (except through grace) to be flogged, spat upon, and hung from a tree.  But He did.  We ruined the world we were given, and though we still get the world as our home until He comes to get us, we need not be OF this world of sin.  We are made perfect--through faith--because He gave the Perfect One for us.  Not fair. 

This unfair God healed Annie's dad completely. Read here.

This unfair God placed this little girl in a family of 6 incredible siblings and an amazing mom and dad.  A family who knows that He who made us created great works for us to do, and will not take us home until those works are complete.  They know that nothing is impossible with God.  They know that nothing can separate us from His love.  They know that He is our fortress and strength.  They know that He will never leave us, nor forsake us.  And they know that this is temporary, that whether on earth or in heaven, God WILL heal Annie.  Hallelujah!

Will I choose to put one foot in front of the other and believe and praise Him, even though it's all but impossible to do?  Yep.  I must.  Because I know this, too. 

If you're a believer, I ask that you pray for Annie and her family.

God, glorify Yourself in this, I pray!  In Jesus' name.  Amen.