Meh...

It's just one of those weeks, my friends.  A week where all of the double-fisting of brownie dough and garlic Triscuits with avocado slices is just not going to cut the restlessness in me.  Not that I haven't tried. I can hardly string to cohesive thoughts together, and I'm equal parts worn out and amped up. I'd call it a funk, but I'm extensively familiar with funkage, and this isn't it.  Though if I don't watch out, that's where I'm headed.  So...I'm watching out.  And I'm self-caring...because if momma ain't happy...And really, part of the issue is that I want to be there for others.  I need to be there for others.  Right now, however, I just don't want to be.  I'm just sorta...meh.

In case you ever feel the same way...you're not alone.  And if you never feel this way...then we can still be friends and I'll try not to covet your mental contentment and stability.  But this is what helps me--and I share in hopes that even one person would find a bit of relief.

As Paul states, he's learned the secret of being content in all circumstances.  Good for Paul.  Oh, okay. That was snarky.  I didn't mean it, Lord.  No, he's exactly right. 

Christ is the reason for our joy, our hope, and our strength.  And we praise him whether we "want" to or not because of Who He is.  We go to Him for our healing, our hope, and our strength.  We come to the throne regardless of our emotional/extrinsic state, to seek His Truthful, intrinsic indwelling of the Holy Spirit.

Step 1.  I'm reading thru my Bible again.  And alongside it, I'm reading J.I. Packer's Knowing God.  But I'm not reading just to learn...I'm reading to drink, to glean, to fill my mouth with His Word.  To fill my heart with His comfort.  To talk with Him. To agree with Him in my need to confess, repent, and move forward.  To PRAISE Him.

Step 2.  Though I'm tempted to eat everything which is nailed down (and am partially succeeding), I'm also exercising, at least 2 times a week "hard" (e.g. gym time with grunting and sweat) and 3 times a week "easy" (e.g. dog walking etc.).  I never thought I would say this, but I'm really starting to wake up and know when my body needs to go to the gym.  Curses. 

Step 3.  I'm doing sweet things for myself.  Today I had a looooong overdue massage.  I still feel a little guilty about spending the money, but it's an investment in my well being in so many ways...knots get worked out, I sleep better, I feel less like a lump and more like an animate object (that is...AFTER the lavender-scented stupor wears off).  And I'm nicer.  That's a particular win for my fellow home-dwellers.  I'm meeting a friend for a margarita this week.  And I've kept my nails painted all week.  Sometimes, it's just a little thing to make me smile, or something to put on the calendar in anticipation of a bit o' fun.

Step 4.  I'm doing sweet things for others.  Now, now...don't go all thinking I'm bragging on myself.  This is just part of the process. Guess what?  My daughter is forbidden to have sleep-overs on a school night.  Except for yesterday.  Really...what could it hurt?  And the smile on her face (not to mention the scream I heard on the phone when she thought we had disconnected) was worth every broken rule.  Been trying to stockpile some freezer dinners to have on hand for friends.  Been praying for others.  Been asking God for wisdom in how i can let my gentleness (well, His gentleness, anyway) be evident to all. 

And here's another sweet thing.  I have a little reading blog and I am itching to give some books away.  I bought 3 new books recently, and I think the biggest compliment you can give a book is to pass it on.  I've already passed one on.  Go here if you're interested in the giveaway for the other 2.


Blessings!