Betcha Didn't Know!

Well, I need to thank Miss Amber, because I haven't had a good excuse to talk about myself or state my opinion in at least 8 hours. And I needed more of me. Hoping you do, too. :)

We'll call this one the "Gretchen's Wacky Childhood" edition of Betcha Didn't Know (BDK):

BDK: That when I was 3 or 4 (the perfect age for the responsibilities of owning a pet) I had two little, sweet, mini turtles. One was Tommy and the other was Tessie. You probably also didn't know that I was a curious child, and an orally fixated one, as well. I wondered why Tommy's (or Tessie's, it doesn't matter now) head kept going in and out and in and out and in and out. And so I bit his little head off. Fortunately, my mother lived for at least 25 years after seeing his little body in one hand and his head in the other. The shock might've killed those of lesser stamina. Our conversation is emblazoned in my memory:

Mom: What are you doing, Gretchen? What do you have in your hand.

Me: I bit the head off the turtle, Mommy.

Mom: Don't be silly, Sweetie. That's Tommy (or Tessie) right there in your hand.

Me: (opening the other hand) See?

Mom: Horrification crosses her face, and she shouts for my father.

BDK: That when I was 10 or 11, I took an emory board and filed down my teeth. Suddenly I feel like whinnying or something. But I digress. Anyway...I didn't like the ridges on the bottom of my top incisors, nor the top of my bottom incisors, so I stood and filed away. Funny thing. I've now got horribly damaged teeth. They are weak and short, and last week, I was chastened for not wearing my bite guard b/c my teeth "are getting shorter by the minute". When I asked, "Well, do we need to lengthen them?" I was told that for the low, low price of 3 mortgage payments, I could have 4-6 new veneers. Sigh. And I must, must, must be compliant with a night guard with veneers, or I'll pop them off. Swell. So kids, to coin a phrase from a wise friend, today's Ranger Rick Safety Tip: Do Not File Your Teeth (you idiot children). Donations to the Gretchen Was Stupid When She Was 11, But She's Less Dim Now and Wants New Teeth will be accepted in any form. ;)

BDK: That I bit my nails incessantly until I was 19. I have no idea why i stopped. I shouldn't have, really, because they are much less caloric than anything else I could chew, and for the last 21 years, I haven't been able to grow my nails past the edge of my fingers, anyway.

BDK: That I am plugging away at the Bible, trying to finish every last word. Currently, I'm on Ezekiel. I haven't read it entirely in order, cover to cover, but for the most part, I'm trying to; however. Would like to say that I'm glad that God didn't choose me to be a prophet back then. Our God is so big, so mighty, and so sovereign. I'm delighted that I am rediscovering this with every word. And I'm also trying to let go of the guilt for not keeping up with this at an earlier time.

BDK: That if I wasn't an ex-speech therapist and SAHM, I'd be a neurologist or a Broadway stage wannabe. Or...a quilt store owner.