Fast, Faster, Fastest

So this Lenten season has me thinking.  To be honest, I havent' decided upon anything to "give up" for Lent.  I've thought about it, but then one thing or another will get in my mind by way of distraction.  And while I'm not sure if I'll make a specific sacrifice this season or not, I am sure that I want to be thoughtful and intentional about these weeks leading up to Easter.  I've thought a lot about fasting.  Typically, I run as fast as fast can be from the discipline of fasting.  Why?  Well, first and most obvious...because the more I think about fasting, the more I feel hungry.  Curious, don't you think?  What I think is that i have a few food issues here and there which may be a result of growing up poor, and which may also be just as result of getting mighty used to having plentiful food--not only in amount, but in selection--as I've been an adult.  Ideally, Satan will use this as a foothold, and by the blood and sacrifice of Jesus, I'm not going to allow it.  However, that leaves fasting as still one of those things I don't do well--not only in the eating sense, but in the doing/having sense, either.  One can fast from screens, discretionary purchases,self-centered behaviour, and over-consumerism of any kind.  So I'm mulling this, too.  And I'm giving my fears of what might happen if I choose to fast (in any form of the word) to God. 

It occurs to me that fasting promotes a dependence and surrender to God in a way quite unlike any other type of sacrifice.  When we fast, we open that God-sized hole in our hearts, and ask Him to fill it, and to prepare us for His purposes.  That's pretty big.  And scary.  Eyes forward.  Deep breaths.  Baby steps.

As I've said before, I get by with a little help from my friends, so I want to share two ideas which really got me thinking this year.  Also, my friend, Marla is discussing fasting over at her place.  Take a peek here. 

My friend Cheryl spoke last year not about what she's giving up for Lent, but what she took up.  Go here to see.  Lurve. 

My friend Bev was inspired by a television program which described a couple living on 1/2 of what they made and giving the other 1/2 to charity. Go HERE to see how she and her hubby "fast" in this situation.  I'll be right here.  What did you think?  Were you inspired? 

So...I write this to myself as much as to anyone else, but if it gets your noggin whirring, so much the better.  Do share your thoughtses, my Preciouses. 

Catching Up with Greth

You might be asking yourself, "So, Greth, you've caught us up on all your childhood lore, but what have you been up to lately?". To which I would answer (my dad's recurrent bad joke): "Oh, about 5'6".

Rimshot pls.

I'll be here all week.

I've been up to lots of things...mostly trying to wrap myself around the fact that Christmas will be here before we know it. That Thanksgiving is merely two shakes of a lamb's tail away, and I'm just now putting away my Halloween decorations. As in...just walked down out of the attic about 10 seconds ago. And don't worry. I put the flashlight away...just in case we lose power or have another one of these in our state.

Just an aside: We don't do severe thunderstorms and tornadoes in Seattle. Or in Western Washington. Ever. They just don't happen. Good thing I had my CO training for what to do (a.k.a. watch TV or try to watch the skies--never run for shelter). Earthquakes: check. Rain: double check. But even our rain is typically thunderless. Funnel clouds: nope.

I'm trying to wrap my mind around enjoying each holiday for all that it is, while not attaching baggage to what it "should be". Thanksgiving will be easier, since I'll be exhausted from our Christmas play rehearsal--I won't be able to stress much. And we'll be here...just our 4-pack, with any "orphans" from church who want to come and over-eat and play Wii.

But this will be our first Christmas away from our home in probably 7 or 8 years. We're going back because it's just time. Big and I have always said that Santa comes here. Period. Anyone is welcome to join in the reindeer games and stay, but after bumping along to 3 or 4 different homes on Christmas in our early marriage and feeling like there was no holiday in the holiday, we decided to stop that madness. However, folks do age, and Santa is still celebrated, but less anticipated, if you know what I mean. And travel around the holidays becomes less attractive to folks with mobility issues. Which means that other folks (meaning: our family) need to bend. Gosh, that's hard. I wish it weren't. I'll take easy bending for $200, Alex. I wish I was so involved in being Christ-like at Christmas that I didn't care about having the holiday here. In my house. My way. With our traditions. And on our schedule. Feels like a lot of "me", "my" and "our" there. Ouch. So, bend I will, Yoda. As will my fam. Especially my son, Rigid David, who, in no uncertain terms has let us know that he would prefer to be home for Christmas (again, and again, and again). BTW, if you think I'm mean for name-calling, I am. But we all joke about our collective family rigidity. The apple hasn't fallen far from the tree. But he takes after his father. Nonetheless, we all have to get over ourselves and grow up a bit.

If God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him would have eternal life, I can step up and give a holiday.

But only in His grace. Oh, how i need His grace.

Anyhoo...What've you been up to lately?

OH! I almost forgot. I'm also about 1/4 way thru my first knitting-in-the-round (also known as hell on earth because I don't have 4 hands) project. I know you were worried. I'll post pictures when I'm finished.

OH! I almost also forgot. I'm growing my first avocado from seed, and it's actually in a pot! Woo hoo. And why I care about this, I'll never know. I just do. Giddy, in fact. I feel like Tom Hanks' character in "Castaway" when he made fire.

Okay. That is all.

Mo' Bettah

So, thank you, thank you, thank you for all the lurvely gladdy comments on me gladitudes w/o gladitude post. You have filled my tank. My precious God has lifted my head thru these. And I've needed a head-lifter. For I've been standing on the edge of the cliff of depression and looking down, sometimes losing my footing and falling in, and scrambling back up to the top. It's an all too familiar place. And I hate it. I hate that sometimes I can see a trigger and be prepared and sometimes I can't. I hate the helplessness. But as much as I fight the shame that is inherent in depression...As much as I want to hide...I won't. Not too much anyway--well, I am a prideful human, after all. But it's not my fault. Any more than a chronic physical illness is anyone's fault. I have a few tricks in my bag to follow through with, to see if I can avoid some meds. But if I need them, I need them. Bear with me while I get my bearings, won't you? And thank you for your prayers. And comments. And phone calls. And twitlove. Because it matters. And helps. And soothes. And though it may not cure what ails me, it's part of the burden-lifting that I believe Jesus speaks to in Matthew 11:28-30.

28"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

Today...He is the lifter of my head.

Today...I will be grateful for each moment, even the hard ones. Because they are part of my story. And I will walk in the message of His hope.

Today...I will give thanks that because of who I am and whose I am, I am extravagently, completely loved and accepted.

Thinking...

As you may know, I've been at the beach house for a few days this week. It was sort of our last hurrah, since Big will be off to China, and we have only a couple of weeks until the perfect storm of activity hits. Got back late last night, and slept well until being awakened by "Mom, I threw up!" at 3:41 a.m. Bless her heart. She'll be okay. Oyster crackers, 7 up and jello are working their healing powers as I type. So is the movie Mamma Mia. Don't judge. We had the talk about "Sweetie, it's best not to sleep with 3 different men before you're married..." And out of my bleary eyed girl, "I know, Mom, I think I'm mature enough to see it." Anyway, as I was saying...granted, I'm planning on being purposeful and intentional in planning for each activity and the school which surrounds it, but the busyness of fall is soon upon us.

Not sure why I'm sharing my thoughts...maybe it's best not to...though that doesn't appear to be how I roll...I've been thinking and praying...praying and thinking...and sitting in the stillness.

• I'm excited for school to begin for my children. But I will miss them. And I will miss the quiet. Lord, help me to find a quiet place to be with You each day. And quiet my oft-anxious heart. Give us your peace as we go our separate ways, I pray.
• I'm thinking about working again. As a speech therapist or as anything. Lord, give me clarity of thought, that I may seek You to fill and to fulfill, and that if it be Your will for me to work, that You would provide the job and the circumstance which is where You would have me work--doing what You would have me do.
• I've recently started reading and more recently, sharing a book in a bible study with one close friend. The book is magnificent in pointing my heart back to God as my source of purpose and significance. But reading brings with it a painful reality of where I am, and where I want to be in recognizing my self worth and faith in the Living God. Lord, thank You for friends who walk shoulder to shoulder with us. Thank You for loving me extravagantly and for waiting for me to seek You and do Your will. Help me to obey You by acting upon those truths You give. Not just thinking that they're true for someone else...someone truly worthy and bright. Help me to remember that I am worthy and blameless in Your eyes, thanks to the death and resurrection of Your Son.
• I have a lot of ideas of how I'd like to arrange my home and spend my "free" time. But often, I give up before trying any of them because I'm afraid that they won't work out or that I won't like them. Lord, again, I seek you to quiet my heart, and help me to walk boldly and without fear. And when I am afraid, help me to take baby steps because of my safety in You. Whom shall I fear? No one. For You will never leave nor forsake me. Even.if.I.fail. Hallelujah, what a savior.
• Lord, thank You for the cycles and seasons in life. Help me to embrace all that is in Your will for me today and to not fret about tomorrow.

In Jesus' name. Amen.