Gladitude, part deux

Psalm 107:1

Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures forever.

Indeed, He is good. So good in fact, that I'm adding on to my gladitude list of last week. I dunno, but perhaps this will be a theme for me...it should be anyway.

10. I'm so glad that my dtr is at camp. For HER, people, not for me. :) I know she was at Bible camp last week with her brother, but this is Outdoor Chef camp for Girl Scouts, and she's going with a little friend, and lots of enthusiasm. Yes, I miss her terribly, and her eyes leaked a bit before she left, but seeing her confidence and her excitement is so cool. "Hello, my name is Drama Girl, and I'm 10, and I have the world by the tail! Woo hoo! I'm glad for some 1:1 time with David, and that the weather is going to be unseasonably warm--80s! Wow.

9. Grateful that we now have 2 eagles on Fort Stinky. Big and Drama repaired the fort on Saturday and added some nice "eagle perches". Must've worked. Now we have 2, and they seem so happy to hunt and preen and pose for us to enjoy. I don't know why this tickles me so, but it.just.does. Pictures to come.

8. Glad that I get to see my 82 year old Grum in Iowa in October. I haven't seen her in almost 4 years, so it's time. Drama Girl and I are so ready to show Grum our knitting and receive our due polite criticism praise.

7. Glad for Big's flexible schedule (when he's not in China). This is a biggie for me. I'm usually a stinker not as supportive as I could be because I don't like his travel or his long hours. What I need to keep giving thanks for is: a) he has a job, b) he loves his job, c) I've been able to stay home and home school and otherwise be there for my children, d) this is a refining process for me and my p.a.t.i.e.n.c.e and delay of gratification. Hmph. Okay, okay. I'm glad.

6. Glad that, through generous donations, I've met my fundraising minimum for the Breast Cancer 3 Day in September. $2,200 is a ton of money to raise, IMO, and I was very much doing a walk of faith to gather each dollar. Some others on my team are still gathering funds, so if you feel so led, please consider donating to anyone on our team.

5. Further, I'm glad I went on a 9 mile hilly walk last week, and a 11.7 (let's call it 12) mile training walk last night with some other 3-day walkers. Last night's walk was a hilly-exhausting-butt-burning extravaganza. So, I guess I'm also glad that I simply made it. I make it hard on myself because I try to walk at about 4 mph, but I do that mostly so I can finish and move on to other non-exercise activities. I presume that I'll be walking much slower during the event. Since, you know, I've never walked 60 miles in 3 days before, and am likely to be p.o.o.p.e.d! I'm humbled by the cause, though, and don't tell anyone, but I'm knitting pink scarves from fun fur for all my team mates. :) Better get started!

4. Lest you think that all I can think about is the 3 Day, I can tell you that I'm also glad that I was the first one on the computer this morning! Ha Ha David, you'll have to eat your cereal first, this morning. This sharing thing is for the birds! Okay, shut up only child! ;) Ooops! I mean, I'm happy to share with my son who hogs it as much as he can--I would NEVER do that .

3. Glad for a dog lying right near me. Glad also that her horrendous farts have subsided.

2. Glad for the Taco Bell meal I had in my car, at 9 p.m. after my long walk last night.

1. Glad for the amazing God-painted sunset last night. How I appreciate my sight.

Soli Deo Gloria!

How About Some Brain Lint? Some Rhine?

Last Friday was Big's 41st b'day. I surprised him by asking another couple to dinner at a favorite restaurant for his b'day, so we had fun dining with them. I shared with Big (because he's a man, and a g.o.o.d. man, but still doesn't remember important things) that 20 years ago, I did the same thing. A surprise party at a restaurant. There were a few more friends and we were...ahem...much younger, but still. Being the introvert that he is, I think getting a surprise at 21 and 41 is about his speed. Then, the day after his b'day (yesterday), he went to China.

I try to be a biggest girl whilst he's away. Really, I do. It's just...I don't do it well. I'm okay with the one.less.person.to.cook.for. idea, as well as the looser schedule. But I'm not one who does well with this change every 3 weeks. And I don't like having him gone. I try. I pray. I try some more. I try to get out of God's way. But the truth is...I just miss him and want him here. Yes, the petulant 5 year old in me--sometimes she's more evident than at others, but she's always here--can't quite see why I can't have my cake and eat it, too. There are no support groups specifically for those of us with spouses who travel--unless for example, you're in the same boat with a bunch of others like those who live on or near a military base when their spouses are on deployment. Not comparing myself or my angst with anyone of that situation, except to say that when my husband is away, all my friends' husbands are home, and so we don't really do much in the way of socializing until mine comes back (at least as families). Also, as much as I love the fact that we have emailing and texting and phone calls, our relationship seems reduced to 5 minute soundbites here and there. We don't go too terribly deep on conversations because of the time change. He's tired or I'm tired, or he's running to work, calling me on the fly. He's makes a very good effort at communicating. It's just different than being together.

The problem with all this? He loves and feels challenged by what he does, and it pays him enough that I can stay home. Dilemma, anyone? So...I'm working on this friends. Little by little. The truth is, I'm well OVER his going to China. Beyond finished with it. But...he still needs to go. About once a month. So, I strategize and pray. Strategize with ways to fill my time to occupy the family and me without doing too much or too little, and of course trying to build up appreciation for rather than resentment of Big during this time away from each other. Plan outings. Plan hobbies. Plan a sitter now and then. Pray for peace. At times, though, it's overwhelming.

So, I could belly ache and rhine (rant+whine) all day, but I want to do something a bit more constructive. Help! What do you do when you m.u.s.t. wear your big girl panties and it's a task that you loathe doing? Do you turn that loathe into like? How do you avoid the pitfalls of resentment when your spouse does something that you wish he wouldn't do? How do you turn that frown upside down. I feel like Paul's description in Romans--I know what I need to do, and still fall short. I spin my wheels at times, and that doesn't help anyone. Yes, I pray. Yes, I read the Word. But, when I'm in "the waiting", I still have to live life. How do you cope with this?

Or am I nuts?

I thought so.

For some reason, Blogger is not allowing me to make paragraphs, so you'll just have to cope with everythingrunningtogethersotospeak.

Soli Deo Gloria!