Who Doesn't Like A Top 10 List?

My friend, Jean, has started a new blog, called, "Let's Talk About This...A Titus 2 Woman with Wisdom For What Not To Do."  You should just do yourself a favor and subscribe to her posts.  Your welcome. 

Today, based on 30 years of marriage, she posted her Top 10 Marriage Tips.  You can go over and read them--I'll wait. 

Are you back?  Good.  Because now, I'm gonna share my two cents on an unequally yoked marriage.  Jean is a dear friend and mentor of mine, and she told me that I have a ministry as a 1 Peter 3 wife because I've been married to a pre-believer for 21 and 1/2 years.  Happily married.  In fact, I'm told that my marriage seems even sweeter than that of many dual-believer marriages.  I guess that's true.  All I know is that other than wishing upon wish that my husband would hurry up, repent, and see how God hung the moon, he's practically perfect.  He loves me.  He has a great sense of humor. He's a man of deep integrity. He loves his children.  He gives grace--heaps and heaps of grace. 

Without further ado, here are my Top 10 Marriage Tips for An Unequally Yoked Couple:

1. Treat your husband as if he is already saved.  Great advice given to me over 10 years ago.  To clarify:  Treat your husband as the spiritual leader and head of the house.  Regardless of where his heart is, he IS the head of the house, and our submission to him is a fragrant submission to God.
2. Work on you.  Yep.  You heard me.  We are not going to change our men, ladies.  Work on being the woman you know God wants you to be, and...
3. Instead of trying to change your husband, pray for God to change his heart--and to keep yours soft and p.a.t.i.e.n.t.
4. Pray.  For your marriage.  Your children.  One day, you'll pray together, but right now, "just do it."  I do a lot of  praying on my own, but my marriage is now at the stage where I can pray over my husband right in front of him.  He may not pray along, but he always accepts the gesture, and thanks me.  I believe even if he doesn't "get" it, he gets that I love him.
5. I love Jean's so I'll steal it:  Be content with what your husband provides--and make sure he knows it.  When guys are asked to describe themselves, 90% of the time, they talk about their jobs/provision.  We need to appreciate.  "Thank you for your hard work for this family, Honey".
6. Initiate or at least happily participate in having sex even when it's the 40-eleventh thing on your mind.  No, don't be a martyr. A cheerful giver is the only way to be.  But you know what?  Guys tend to want sex more than gals do, and I'd take a meal over to a friend, or pick up someone else's kids.  Why wouldn't I do a little somethin'-somethin' for my mate--which ends up bein' a fun something for me, and which increases our connection?
7. Remember that even folks in equally yoked marriages have rough patches.
8. Find a unified voice, and use it--with friends, children, etc.  In other words, be each other's wingman.  Examples:  I may not 100% agree with my spouse on a decision he makes for the kids, but you better believe that the kids will not know this--he and I will talk, later. I'm more social than he is, so I ASK before scheduling social occasions at our house. 
9. Praise him in front of others. 
10. Remember that you're gonna have to be the mature one, sometimes.  Mature in faith, that is.  Even though I believe we must treat our pre-believer spouse as if he were saved, we must also remember that he isn't.  There are times when a church service or an activity with church friends must be missed because he's just not ready.  Honor this.  Your churchy friends, if they are truly godly friends, will encourage you and wait on you.