Stiff

Have you ever pulled a muscle?  Or, have you ever been stubborn, prideful, or just.simply.knew.you.were.right.? 

Me neither. 

Actually, I'm lying.

I'm sitting here, in a ski lodge, whilst my sweet snowboarder shreds down a mountain (is that what the cool kids call it?). And my back is hurting.  So stiff.  Why?  Because, a few days ago, I reached one way, and my nearly 43 year old body turned another.  Spasm ensued, followed by pain and frustration.  For the last several days, I've had the look of a 1,000 year old cavewoman when I rise from my chair or get out of my car, and I walk with a distinct tilt to the left (though some might argue I always tilt a little to the left).  I don't like being stiff.  It hurts.  And the only thing which makes it better is God's time & healing, and the wisdom to exercise gently, use ice/heat, and take the time to s-t-r-e-t-c-h out every so often.

As I think about stiffness and stretching, my mind drifts to other areas in my life in which I've been stiff-necked, or had to have my way.  Similar to how my body needs to stretch, lest it return to its bound up ways, my mind and spirit often also return to their bound up ways without the benefit of a good stretch every now and then.  I love to stretch my body, for the most part.  The momentary discomfort gives way to relief and increased flexibility.  Heck, I often even feel taller look thinner  when I stretch. 

I wonder why I don't love to stretch (or BEND) my will, as well.  When I'm clearly "right", why isn't knowing that enough? Why must I prove it, ad nauseum?  Why must I be impatient with others?  Why must I be so inflexible that sometimes selfishness, and anger, or at the very least, irritation are among my first responses to a given situation?  Why does sarcasm and complaint so easily fall from my lips?

The only thing I can come up with is that bending my will, or stretching for others requires discomfort from which I may not see immediate results.  Ouch.

I wonder what would happen if I would more often ask the Holy Spirit to help me bend my will to His, and stretch to meet others where they are.  What would happen if I leaned away from myself to give a hug or a comforting word, rather than standing firmly in righteous indignation? Would stretching to be kind be better than reaching for the right answer?  And, if I keep stretching, will I break?  It seems an impossible task, this idea of stretching wherever God leads.  True confession:  Loving God with my all heart, soul, mind, and strength and loving others as He loves them is a major stretch for me.  Sometimes it hurts.  It's usually rather inconvenient, and rife with interruptions.  It is, in fact, often an impossible scenario. 

Thankfully, God is a impossible scenario kind of God.  Thankfully, He took a blind wretch like me and made me see.  I do hope my back feels better soon.  But I'm grateful for this object lesson in stiffness and stretching--in a hurts so good kinda way.

Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,

That saved a wretch like me.
I once was lost but now am found,
Was blind, but now I see.

T'was Grace that taught my heart to fear.
And Grace, my fears relieved.
How precious did that Grace appear
The hour I first believed.

Through many dangers, toils and snares
I have already come;
'Tis Grace that brought me safe thus far
and Grace will lead me home.
The Lord has promised good to me.
His word my hope secures.
He will my shield and portion be,
As long as life endures.

Yea, when this flesh and heart shall fail,
And mortal life shall cease,
I shall possess within the veil,
A life of joy and peace.

When we've been here ten thousand years
Bright shining as the sun.
We've no less days to sing God's praise
Than when we've first begun.

 ~John Newton

“Lord,” he said, “if I have found favor in your eyes, then let the Lord go with us. Although this is a stiff-necked people, forgive our wickedness and our sin, and take us as your inheritance.”  Exodus 34:9 (NIV)