"Gentle, Gretchen...Gentle!"

When I was about 4 years old, I received a Close'N Play record player, much like the one in the above picture.  In fact, I've been driving myself crazy these last 30 minutes, looking for the picture I just know I have of me with said toy.  Alas, the Google rendition will have to do. 

I have loved music for as long as I can remember...about that time of my life, I remember crooning to my mom's Roberta Flack album.  And "Yellow Submarine" was a daily chant for me, it seems.

However, the clearest memory of my little Close'N Play wasn't the the music I played on it (vinyl  45s, children--you cannot purchase them from iTunes), but that my parents had a chant of their own:  "Gentle, Gretchen.  Gentle!"  It seems I was a speedy and poweful over-achiever on the whole stick-a-record-in-and-slam-the-lid-down-tightly-while-pulling-out-the-record-placing-hand-in-record-time.  Gentle, Gretchen. Gentle.

39 years later, I'm still learning gentleness.  I like to think that I have improved in this area, but the truth is, gentleness is often my second, third, or last choice in behavior.  (hangs head)

Thankfully, my faith in Jesus' saving has covered my lack of gentleness.  But clearly I'm still on this side of Heaven, so I still have some 'splaining improving to do.

I have had some parental ups and downs, lately, and I've thought about, obsessed upon, and prayed for strength in response to the downs.  The message I'm hearing isn't one I like very well, but I love the God who sends it:  Perhaps the place to start healing is within me, rather than in those darn kids my amazing children.  Case in point:  Recently, my daughter shared that she felt like essentially, I was never pleased with her, and that she couldn't do anything without me getting frustrated or angry with her. 

Ouch. 

My son has often (and yes, he's a teenager, but) told me..."Please just stop talking.  Leave me alone." 

Pick, pick, pick, anyone?

While I realize that my job is to push these fledglings to grow their wings, and gain a head for responsibility, I need to remember also to do so with gentleness.  Am I:

• Listening?
• Reacting or responding?
• Thinking before I speak?
• Picking my battles?
• Remembering what it's like to be a hormonally driven, angst-filled teenager--fighting to be "cool" and "normal" in the topsy turvy world of middle school and high school?

These are hard lessons for me, because as a prideful human being, I still get stuck in the damaging thinking pattern that my kids are somehow a reflection of my successes and failures as a parent and as a person.  I'm so grateful for God's gentle nudge of conviction upon my heart, for I'm free repent  and to make the choices that He would have me make in raising these gifts from Heaven, with the daily strength and wisdom He provides.  I don't have to be crabby.   I can listen well.  I can pick my battles.  I can speak life, rather than discouragement to my children.  All I have to do is listen to my Father.

How about you?  I'd love to hear about any of your challenges with gentleness, parenting, or otherwise, and how you're facing them.


"Let your gentleness be evident to all.  The Lord is near."  Philippians 4:5 (NIV)