Train Up a Mom in the Way She Should Go...

Pull up a latte. This one's long, but I couldn't figure out how to edit, since I'm wordy and all, so...

I don't know if you've ever caught the fact that I'm in a bit of a bewildering, befuddling hormonal whirlwind with my children. I often wonder exactly where I am and whether or not we're still in Seattle, Toto.  Even when I click my Emerald City slippers, I still don't exactly feel I've arrived home with this whole mothering of pubescent children thang.  And yet...even in my angstiest times (like that word, angstiest?)...I realize that each day is a gift, and that God not only loves me through these class V rapids, but loves my children (His children) through them, too.  Man, my metaphors are ON FIAH!

Hello, Gretchen...the point?  Okay.  Those who are least equipped to give parenting advice should cowgirl up and give it, no?  Let's call it sharing, instead of advice. I may have been raised as an only child, but I am an expert at sharing (my opinion).

Instead of leading my children through my own mad skilz and expertise, which sounds like nothing but n.a.g.g.i.n.g. to them...Charlie Brown phone call, anyone?  I can lead them to seek God's teaching.  God's point of view.  God's words. And, God's truth, as delivered by the Holy Spirit. 

One day, I was swinging at the end of my rope, and asked my friend Jean, who has been a mom warrior for 27 years, how she disciplined her children (especially) when it came to the sass factor.  She told me that she let her kids know that because they had the Holy Spirit indwelling them, that they HAD A CHOICE in their behavior, and when they were with her, they needed to choose to be respectful. 

Lightbulb.

She also said that she used the Bible--God's Words, not hers--when disciplining her kids.  As they were old enough, she'd send them off to their room with an assigned passage.  Shed' tell them to be quiet before God, and then talk to them about it later.  She's a rock star, that Jean.  And, I apologize if this is common sense and common practice to my cradle Christian friends.  You might even be saying, "duh!", but it was a lightbulb moment for me.  You see, I've taken my children to church.  I've prayed with and for them.  I've even pulled out the spare verse or 2 when talking with or (ahem) yelling at them.  But I've been parenting in my own strength and wisdom too much of the time.

Well, after one particularly snarky day with my Jesus-loving self and children, I decided to try the old "seek God" technique. Well, I'll tell you...I was afraid they'd refuse/laugh/scorn me when I tried this new disciplinary trick.  But, God was/is/will be faithful.  Each time I've used this "technique", it has diffused any anger, and has drawn my kids and me together and toward God.  I'm not (too) naive--I realize one day, I'll hit defiance in this area as in others, but the greatest thing about it is that I have immediate back up.  They are both sold out to Jesus, so it doesn't matter if they're sold out to me.  Jesus isn't a nag.  He's the Great I Am.  I've also realized this is a commitment for me--a very significant butt-kicker in terms of my own preparedness.  I can't just say, "Go read your Bible!", I have to have a planned verse.  So, that means...I have to be reading MY OWN Bible.  See?  Training me up...

May Day

Contrary to the last week, wherein I pretty much left the blogosphere high and dry, I tend to be a communicator.  I like words.  I make up words.  I speak them, write them, and sing them.  Probably too much. I like communication, in general.  In fact, I have a dual degree in Psychology and Communication Disorders and Speech Science, and a Master's in Speech Pathology.  So really, I like how words are formulated and executed, from the brain, through the anatomy, and out through written or spoken word.  For that matter, I like sign language, too.  And all sort of nonverbal communication.  I send email communications on behalf of my worship ministry at church.  I've been asked to manage a musical production for our church, which essentially boils down to a bunch of phone calls, emails, and face-to-face chats.  I like information, and when used well, I do believe that knowledge is not power, per se, but powerful. 

And thanks to God's grace, I am trusted with a boat load of information and confidences from folks in my life.  I am wired for this.  And I wouldn't change a thing.

But there are days.

Days when my spirit seeks quiet, and there isn't any. 

Because a dear family member is terribly sick.  Or maybe a friend's family member passes away.  Or someone I love needs "another test" to assure good health.  Or a baby is fighting for his life, and may live, but only God knows if he will live well.  Or a relationship is broken.  Or a child needs soothing because of one of the innumerable inequities of life. 

Days which tire me so.  Days when this gift of communication seems more like a liability.

But God. 

God is in this.  He is the lifter of our heads.  The healer of the broken-hearted.  The amazing, holy, righteous, magnificent, glorious Maker of the universe.  And I know he cares.  About each disease and hurt.  Each relationship.  Each child.  Each hair on His children's heads.  He cares that I hurt when my loved ones hurt.  And when I cry "May Day!", His Spirit is the healing balm to my weary spirit.  For His yoke is gentle, and His burden is light.