Oh, Goody: Waiting and Patience

Wait...that was sarcasm.  Contrary to the hero I play on TV, my real self stinks at waiting and patience. If I'm honest, I think it stinketh that one (waiting) begets the other (patience).  And, since I'm on a real roll with being honest, I'll also tell you that even though I know that waiting on God and patience are truly fruit of the Spirit, it takes everything I have to stop, drop, and roll pray my way out of doing God's job for Him.

This is my oblique way of saying to my 8 readers that something's been on my mind, and I haven't posted recently because I've let it consume me. I'm not ready to share it yet (sorry), so I thought I'd just attempt to get over myself and live life while waiting, truly waiting--palms up, heart open--to however God leads.  And often, my mind will tell me that I'm fine with this course of action--the RIGHT action.  It's just...my heart seems to be on a bit of a delayed cycle with the whole, "I trust you no matter what, God." process.

Have you ever felt consumed by a thought/worry/dream/question that you wanted God to answer?  And don't you feel even a little more "entitled" to Him for a quick answer if you're pretty certain that He's the one who laid it on your heart, anyway?  Just me?

But here's what I'm learning...or RE-learning, rather:

• God's plan is perfect. 
• Unlike me, who tends to perseverate (one of my favorite words from speech therapy days--except when it's about me), ruminate, and cogitate over things, God is omniscent and omnipotent.  His thinking is BIG.  Mine is little.  The Creator of the universe can truly see beyond the next few moments, years, millenia of my life.  It's covered.
• There's a lot to do in my life which is very distracting when i'm trying to worry/obsess over something. Laundry and cooking just won't wait forever. ;)
• There's a God who loves me and wants to bless me in this waiting if I'll only allow it.
• Blessings like:
• Laughter and silliness with a pre-teen daughter who still shares e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g. with me.  May she always do so.
• Seeing the triumph and joy in my son's face as he brings home three certificates of excellence in his classes.  School has not always been easy, not always been safe, not always been good.  It's good now.
• Talking to my dad on the phone and sharing a laugh--hearing that he's really in a good place right now.  Happy, even.
• Reading a great book. 
• Watching my husband leap out of our minivan to save an oblivious, but determined mama duck as she led her 8 ducklings across a busy road.
• Peace.

Abba, forgive me for my little thinking, my impatience, and my lack of trust:  my little faith.  I'm sorry for ever doubting Your perfect will and plan for my life.  Please help me to re-adjust my sails as I turn this boat around to follow You.  In Jesus' name.  Amen.

Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him, "You of little faith," he said, "why did you doubt?" Matthew 14:31

"Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth." Psalm 46:10