1. How are worry & anxiety expressions of pride rather than humility? Worry and anxiety stem from thinking about how things will be within my own power. They indicate that somehow I have the power to change the universe. What pressure! Further, it seems that worry and anxiety point to a lack of faith/trust that my future is secure in the truths of the Living God. Doing anything within my own power (in the Kingdom of Me) is contradictory to total dependence and surrender to God. We are to do nothing without Him, and are to abide in Him each day. The Lord's Prayer (Matt 6:9-13) reminds me to ask even for my daily bread. Just enough to get through today. Make a daily, mustard-seed commitment to God, and He'll provide the rest. To His glory. And, as we know, worrying about tomorrow while living today doesn't help anything: "each day has enough trouble of its own."(Matt 6:34)
2. How did God speak to you as you went through the list of "proud vs humble" people?
He broadened the definition of "proud" in my head. I knew, but didn't k.n.o.w. that it's prideful to be grossly independent and/or self-sufficient. When I'm completely self-reliant, I interfere with others' abilities to serve in God's stead (with their God-given talents and gifts). And of course the idea of having "rights" is ludicrous, the more I think of it. Sounds just as misled as "deserving" one thing or another (other than wrath, of course). Being raised by a single mom, a mom who was not supported alimony or much at all in the way of child-support, I was totally TAUGHT to be as independent and self reliant as possible. "Don't let a man support you..." "Don't rely on anyone; you'll just get hurt..." Hard to not hear those tapes in my head. But nothing's impossible with God. He's working with me on this, thankfully.
3. If you feel comfortable, share one expression of pride you have been convicted of in this past week. Why thank you for asking. I don't feel comfortable at all, but have my toes wet, so might as well jump in...
I had a small solo last week at church while serving on the worship team. I was so stinkin' nervous, from the time the worship pastor asked me if I'd do it (Wed night) to Sunday, right through my "performance". I know it's not "performance"; it's worship, but still. There's a performance factor, just as any preacher knows that any message has a component of "show" to it. Anyhoo...I'm a little discouraged because I identified these feelings as prideful: wanting to sound good, wanting to make sure that folks weren't distracted by my voice, etc. So I prayed over this, repenting for my pride, and assuring God that I was singing only to and for Him. I know I was obedient, and gave my all in worship to Him, but I gotta say, I didn't feel peaceful until I was finished with my solo. The other songs were peaceful for me, but not that one. I felt like I sounded horrid. I could hear the tremor in my voice. Again, the pride returns. Gaah!Realizing that He uses what we have to bless others and to glorify himself, I know that Sunday morning ended up okay. I rest in the truth that I surrendered my heart as best I could, and He tapped into the rest. This is an example--one of the many--of my feelings belying my spiritual truth. Can't always count on feelings. But I can count on truth. Apologies if this only makes sense to me.
Thank you again, Amber and Melissa for walking through the muck with us all. To victory, baby.
