If it wasn't clear to be before, now it is. I get by with a little help from my friends. God has made me (and most women) wired to need and seek girlfriends, and I'm blessed beyond a doubt with such amazing women in my life, through whom God has shown me grace and truth. These women live in my computer and in my local region. And they are so precious to me. Over the last 9 months (can't believe it's been that short), Kellie has become a friend of mine. I've admired her blog and her outlook on life, and for whatever reason (grace), I felt that I could trust her with some pretty personal, intimate I-don't-like-to-go-there-but-I-must facts about myself and questions. So I emailed her. I wanted advice not only for myself, but for raising a daughter (and son, but my daughter was specifically on my heart). I touched on body image questions. Mostly, how to promote a positive body image in my dtr when I myself didn't have one. I also asked about the TRUE campaign, which I am now a part of. The return email was so precious that I hesitate to mention it here. Only because things that precious are tempting to keep to oneself. Except that Jesus is precious, and we're to share Him. And to me, her email was Jesus in skin. So here I am. Sharing. A lot of what she told me (and mentioned on her blog today) had to do with the book The Search for Significance, by Robert McGee.
Here's the thing (don't call me Kara): not-trying-to-sound-like-a-bad-B0b-Newhart-group-session...I've struggled so much with my weight for so long. Not just the extra 50 pounds that I've managed to put on over the years, but the extra 2 ton elephant, aka: Satan's lies, which I've allowed to weigh me down. Both bring me anxiety and shame and often propel me to a very dark place. And the thing is--I'm so very tired of that dark place. I want to live in the light. Not just for me, though that would be enough. But for the amazing gift of Jennifer Kate, who is 11 years old and needs her momma. Needs her now more than ever. To model her own significance, and to live in the truth that because of WHOSE she is, she is beautiful. Because of what He's done, she's got a hope and a future.
It's time to help protect my daughter against the lies of our culture about beauty and significance. Yes, this is important for boys, too. I get that. And I want to work through this book (or the Student edition) with both of my kids. But honestly, our culture and Satan's lies regarding our significance is decimating our little girls. So, I thank God for Kellie, who led me to this book. I am currently on the 2nd to last chapter, after starting it in mid-August. I'm typically a faster reader than that, but this book includes a workbook, which takes a little time and effort (from all that good Bible dipping :) ). It's also such a great book that I'm re-starting it with a friend because I couldn't not share it.
I've lived by Satan's lies for so long, I have some wounds that are pretty wide open each time I read a chapter. However, little by little The Great Physician is knitting me back together. There are times I'm tempted to think: 40 years old, and doesn't have her shit together yet. And then, I repent and allow my God to reign, rather than trying to reign in my life, and I get back on track. Track towards knowing my own significance. Knowing that I am beautiful. Knowing that I have a purpose under heaven. As I stand on the Truth of the Cross, I'm able to shove that sign in the ground that says, "It stops HERE!!!!". By His blood. The nonsense and lies that I've been believing and living by stop here.
As Paul states in Philippians 3:12, "12Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me."
I'm getting it. It's an uphill battle, and there are days when I feel battered and worn. But there is ALWAYS a soft spot for me to land. If I will just seek it.
I'm generally pretty slow on the musical bandwagon, so please forgive me if you've seen this, but I heard this song the other day and knew I had to have it for my daughter. And for me. I know it's available thru KLove and iTunes.
More Beautiful You by Jonny Diaz
Little girl fourteen flipping through a magazine
Says she wants to look that way
But her hair isn't straight her body isn't fake
And she's always felt overweight
Well little girl fourteen I wish that you could see
That beauty is within your heart
And you were made with such care your skin your body and your hair
Are perfect just the way they are
[Chorus]
There could never be a more beautiful you
Don't buy the lies disguises and hoops they make you jump through
You were made to fill a purpose that only you could do
So there could never be a more beautiful you
Little girl twenty-one the things that you've already done
Anything to get ahead
And you say you've got a man but he's got another plan
Only wants what you will do instead
Well little girl twenty-one you never thought that this would come
You starve yourself to play the part
But I can promise you there's a man whose love is true
And he'll treat you like the jewel you are
[chorus]
So turn around you're not too far
To back away be who you are
To change your path go another way
It's not too late you can be saved
If you feel depressed with past regrets
The shameful nights hope to forget
Can disappear they can all be washed away
By the one who's strong can right your wrongs
Can rid your fears dry all your tears
And change the way you look at this big world
He will take your dark distorted view
And with His light He will show you truth
And again you'll see through the eyes of a little girl
[chorus]
